It can be hard to know how to help a friend battling cancer. She needs support, practical help, and friends willing to be there when she needs a shoulder to lean on. But what does this really mean? Well wishing friends and family often aren't sure what tangible support they should give. Here's a list of ideas to help give family and friends a place to start.
You may want to create a calendar for organizing a community of support. If there are a number of people who want to pitch in, email out a list of tasks that need to be accomplished and ask friends to sign up.
o Bring meals or snacks to your friend. Be sure to ask about any special dietary requirements or changes due to cancer treatment protocols.
o Offer transportation to and from medical appointments. If visits are long, such as for chemotherapy, be a "chemo buddy" and sit with your friend. Bring along music, games and books to help lighten the mood. Or, just be there to talk or hold a hand. Observe her mood and be respectful of how she is feeling that day.
o If you are not able to visit, send practical comfort items that will help support the body's fight: unscented organic lip balm, natural unscented body lotion, warm socks, a soft blanket, attractive scarves or hats if hair loss is a concern, inspirational books, anti-nausea balms and travel sickness candies (ginger flavored), microbead pillows or neck pillows to help bring comfort during long infusion sessions.
o Go grocery shopping, re-stocking the basics on a regular basis. Ask about any special foods or drinks that would be helpful.
o Offer to clean house once or twice a month.
o Do dishes every week on a schedule.
o Babysit or help shuttle children to before and after-school activities.
o Pet sit, or take pets out for regular walks.
o Pray with your friend.
o Take out the garbage.
o Pick up and deliver mail to the post office.
o Do yard work once or twice a month.
o Offer to run errands for a caregiver.
o Organize a fundraiser to help cover medical or living expenses. Check with your local bank for assistance and regulations.
o Help her organize and pay bills on a schedule.
o Water houseplants.
o Rent interesting books on tape or movies. Offer to watch or listen with him.
o Help set up an email list or care page for keeping family and friends updated.
o Make your visits fairly short and routine. Just sit with your friend if he is not up to talking.
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